From Personal

I am too Skinny, I am too Small

Ads promoting “being body proud” tend to feature plus-sized women.

However, many women, believe it or not, feel they are too skinny.

I am that skinny girl that so many people have looked at and said, “wow, I wish I could be as tiny as you!”
And all I’ve ever wanted was to be overall BIGGER.

1. I felt fragile being so skinny

2. I felt vulnerable, like anything and anyone could hurt me

3. Let’s talk about dance class and tights and how small thatttt made me feel.

And for all the people that says it’s easy to gain weight, for some people it’s as hard as losing weight.

Two years ago, I weighed 114. Lifting 1 pound laterally was heavy, pouring milk into my cereal was a mission, and carrying my 50 pound keyboard to shows was an impossible joke. I also ate practically nothing, and just did yoga everyday.

Today, I weight 125. I bicep curl 17.5 at the gym, squat 115 with the smyth machine, and can do 20 military pushups. I can now hold confidently hold vasistasana and feel safe that my upper-body will support me with handstand at the wall.

I am skinny, I am small, and I am body proud.

May 2014. Before I got arthritis.







Physical Pain affects Mental Health

Injuries, pains, and aches can bring your spirits down. I’ve definitely been facing that obstacle currently.

Because of financial debt, I’ve had to take on another part time job besides teaching yoga.

I work at Chipotle. I stand for 20 hours a week, and talk there 20 hours a week.

I also teach 3-5 classes per week. And vocalize for an hour everyday, and a voice lesson once a week. Oh, and sometimes I play shows or have band practices.

So in total, I talk 30-40 hours a week. My vocal chords are extremely inflamed. I lose my voice by 7pm.

I now understand why people who stand all day at work like to just veg out, watch tv, or sleep after their shift.

My body hurts. But my spine is taking most of the toll.

It’s very hard to have motivation to workout and do yoga when you are in chronic pain.

Pain is debilitating, and it’s affecting my desire to be workout, because
1. I fear lifting weights will pull on my injured neck and make my spine hurt more before/after work
2. It’s discouraging to get on my mat and not be as flexible because standing all day tightens my muscles
3. My physical pain makes me feel sad. Not good. Not happy.

So today, my intention is to push my mind to workout. This is just a deadly cycle. I KNOW working out, moving my muscles, lubricating my joints WILL make me feel better, it’s just, getting myself to actually do it after work when I am tired is the struggle.

The struggle is real. But I’m pushing through. Stay positive everyone. :)

The Strange is Beautiful


I haven’t blogged in awhile because I’ve been working on a project called The Strange is Beautiful with my friend Savannah Metzger to spread awareness of anxiety disorders and depression. Our goal is to teach the world that anxiety disorders and depression aren’t so strange, but are common, require understanding, and are easier to live with than we think.

More info will be posted once our site is launched :)

Email me if you’d like to join our campaign, or if you’re a fellow yogi and would like to help us spread hope !! –

Also, if you or a loved one has any type of mental illness, please check these helpful websites:

And this article Savannah wrote :)